ME. kynzgerl
CODES. manikka
BRUSHES. 1 2
IMAGES. 1 2
The 2 paper heart: moargh.de
SOURCE. BLOGGER BLOGSKINS IMAGESHACK

i know im pathetic...
but i cant help it....

i cannot stop myself from spending....
and i wanna bloody get the citibank credit card...
but its bloody hell troublesome....

hmm..
i bought 3 new dresses!!
one pair of heels!
one bag?
3 eyeliner.
1 blusher.
10 packs of mask...
still got whats not?
i cant remember alr...

OMG.... WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME....
im fucking broke now....
retail therapy... sighs

driving lesson tml...
i hope i dun get scolded... so nervous...
haven been driving for a long long time..
and im seriously shagged now...

if u could have a superhero ability, what would yrs be??
i would like to be able to read minds....

what does yr world, yr life revolves around?
i guess mine revolves round money...

why friends dont stay??
becos i nv keep them or ask them to...

is it true?
i guess im not too sure too...

anymore interesting qns??
i wan to earn money!!!!
money!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------
its a decision to be free...
being bedraggled dun change anything..
treat it as loneliness

sibei sian..
no money..
no job..
no bf..

over this week i bought 2 dresses and a pair of heels..
i decided to collect 30 dresses by the end of this year.. and shall be reviewed upon during CHRISTMAS (my fav season, festival of the year..)

i shall collect shoes too.. but they spoil and some have to be thrown away..
so decided to give up on the idea.. an average of 15 pairs of shoes will be okay.. hmm mayb 20...

okay... this sounds bimbotic.. and the rest of the post will be continuing in this manner...
okay... CHOOSE:

1. swatch watch or CK watch.
2. LV bag or Gucci bag.
3. LV wallet or Gucci wallet

see i have got all the wants!!!
damn... need MONEY and a bloody job to sustain....

ohya.. in recent days, lizard and roach were found in the room...
horrible...
and i dunno where is dirty... damn turn off...
i really hate the built in furniture of my room... I HATE!!!..
no choice thry were fixed and no way can be removed...
cos no money... and if renovate, no place to slp...
what a lousy idea... built in.. zzzz

i really really WANT TO GET A SUPER NICE WATCH...
and i spotted a few... so bloody sad....
LV purse is super nice... =(
and to report, i think i spend 100 this week.. zzzz
FUCKING BROKE.
cmi... zzzz..
tt street killed me... thanks!

why?
why again??
why?

emotions are so bearable...

WHERE ARE ALL THE BEST FRENS...

i missed u guys all of a sudden...
and i jus miss u guys...

FYI: i only got 2 best frens....

I want to buy a watch in first week of April..

which kind soul wans to chip in..
please contact me via the HP...
9185**##

Labels: I LOVE WATCHES

I love money!~
I love money!~
I love money!~
I love money!~
I love money!~

i love myself!!

i dunno what to do...
whats yes and whats not...
=(

i decided to call my driving instructor tml to book for my driving lessons... twice per week... zzzz

why did i fail the first TP.. zzzzz

haha!!! nvm.. i must pass this time!!!!
damn it....
aw... gonna be super super super poor now...
damn it.. i hate asking for money from the parents

im seriously bored like shit now..
and there like nth for me to do...

it feels shiok to have finally exercised
though it was some netball wif huixian..
hey its worth playing for her okay..
cos i understand passion ( for those of you who dun!! )
though im sorry i sucked at it and still i hao lianed.. LOL..

i realised i can still run... haha..
and basketball is indeed more tiring den netball...
idk y...

after exercising, my body genuinely feels like my body again..
not like some alien body which i feel i have been living in for the past months...
its woo..~

and i wanna go for running...
that is if im not too lazy to run...
running is good...
shed FATS...
and dun be surprised when i say im having a float around my stomach...
ZZZZZZ if u get what i mean ( you yong quan )

im seriously crapping cos im jus too BORED
and idk y

jus in case i forgets
and i dun wan to forget,

we knew each other on the 7th of march and a friday...
and so we should really celebrate every friday of the week...

LOL...
how lame was tt!!

YOU BETTER MAKE SURE U REMEMBER...!

Labels: koh xiao qing

is there a kind of medicine or an eraser which can take away parts of our memory??
someone please get it for me...
i beg...

(the above is a shout-out... IM WILLING TO PAY!!!)

i went to sing KTV again today and my throat felt like they were giving up on me... zzzz
i love the song 七情六欲..
its so bloody old sch... i love...

koh xiao qing... y do u need to have attachments!!!
if not i bet we will be pigging out the entire hols....
PIGGING OUT!!!
i love.... IDK WHY...
EH save money go overseas!!
i want!!!

sidetrack...
has the world given up on me or have i gave up the world...
im jus so screwed EVERYDAY.. yeah...
tell me what to do to screw things further ...
yeah... im a pawn... of fucking who knows who or what..
im a pawn..
did life choose you? or did u choose life??
its such a irony...

and its raining now... on a tuesday after midnight...
i wan to know what really happened.....

Labels: its shit

sometimes, really just sometimes,
i jus wan to find out the truth...
and know if i was just being used...

i wan to know...
but in a way not knowing would be much better..
ain't it...
and also... truth may not be whats it seems to be...

in a way the truth will nv be found...
and mayb the truth has already been found but not accepted..
u get what i mean...
afterall, it jus leads to whether u choose to believe in which...
which again leads to, life is once again all about believing..
which is such a big turn off...
hai... sian...

i hate to BELIEVE...
i jus dun wan to choose...
even turing a blind eye to things is a choice...
its sick and scary...

Labels: i hate life, in a way

how to miss u when i dun...
how to not miss u when i do...

im not deprived...
but i dun have nor do i deserve the rights...

the rights to anything at all...
as in completely at all.

how to feel lost when im not...
how to feel safe when im lost..

i feel that right now... at this point of time, life is a dream...
a big fat dream...
why do i still blog when its exposed...
when everything, all feelings and thoughts are exposed...

this is confusing...
when will i choose to end all these contradiction
when will i finally choose to face the truth that i have been avoiding
when will i be willing to wake up from dreams and face reality
when will i stop escapingwhen will the end of these be

does it really lies in my hands, or do fate exist...
hello fate... are u there
destiny.. u there??
i wanna be your friend...
if everything is really PRE-DESTINIED, why bother to work hard when how much u earn, how much u can enjoy has all alr been decided by whom u dunno... whats the fucking point...

THATS Y I NEVER BELIEVED!!!

Labels: this is stupid

thanks to all those who loved me...
i see and felt it...
i know and i appreciated in my heart...

but im sorry becos im bad, i bailed
and im sorry for all the things i did...

but saying sorry doesnt right any wrongs....

omg... i dunno y i still cannot fully understand and accept...

but those things mentioned, those feeling felt..
there wasnt a word i can use to describe the level of coincidence?
(coincidence is too lousy a word to use in this context)

omg.. i was bedazzled, bedraggled..
throughly amazed... no wonder u felt connection
(though it was eery)

so now... whats true whats not...

fuck...
LOVE is too big a word, too hard a game for pure little nice girls to partake..

how long more is all this going to take??
something please take everything away..

Labels: this is private

this post has been re-typed..
becos i haven been able to express my emotions well in the last try..

thanks to the ppl who made today special for me...
i really appreciated... esp (u know who u are,all those who came.)
i really felt like a princess... =)

my heart goes out to those ppl who:
1. have no heart
2. have no principles
3. have no conscious
4. have no sense
5. have not abit of good in them

becos there might be karma ( though i dun really believe but there might be)
these ppl should be pitied on becos they have failed in their own lifespan as a human...
FAILED terribly..

u can be stupid, u can be poor.. but u cannot have anyone of the above mentioned..
its somehow true when people spoke of animals having more humanity den some humans... i really got to agree this time..

i really hope what i have been saying is understood... becos it has several layers of meanings... and different ppl would perceive it in a different way... but however... they are jus mere thoughts and i am able to take responsibility for them...
( lol weird right )

it is true when people say "when you lost something, you will gain something back in return. "
i totally got to agree..

the first time i lose someone so impt to me.. i realised i gained frens who had loved me more then i had ever loved them or loved myself...
they stood by me... cheered me on.. forgive my wrongs... pull me back to life...
and that is when i realise frens are impt and they are for LIFE...
i learnt becos i saw the value of friendship..
thats y i say y some frens are more impt den others....

this time... i found a good friend, a possible sister and i realised the importance of sisterhood and how untrustworthy ppl can actually be...
these are impt and valueable lessons... i am taught nv to be so guillable again... and to have absolute trust in my own instincts... becos they are so accurate...

ppl grow when they meet setbacks and i wan to continue growing to become a stronger, smarter woman...
as in pagan religion, we should really worship the sacrecy of feminity and womanhood... ( i know i sound sick, what pagan religon, its a kind of religion.. )
because i sincerely believe that women are amazing creatures... (100% amazing)
most wonderful creation on earth..
in handphone terms, women should be called "men i"
hahaha improvised version... wif better functions and mayb better appearance..
get?

lol i have so much to say.. so much so much so so much.. so i will continue ranting...

and yeap... wif increasing cases of cheats, failed marriages, betryals and whats not, and the change in thinking of ppl in the younger generation ( less conservative, high adaptability, high level of social exposure ) i strongly believe that nth is pure (e.g love) anymore...
am i being skeptical, stereotyping.. haha..
i dun care....

tired alr.. nights.

Labels: its love, to answer the question asked a few days ago

its better to have loved and lost den never to have loved at all..

im glad tt i did my best loving u..
though im unreasonable, demanding etc.
at least im being me...
all the PMS, crankiness and whatever are a package of me
of cos including all the fun and laughter..

at the end of the day..
after all the struggles we have been through, i haven been able to prove what i have been to u in yr heart...
and i guess thats my fault...

but i wouldnt regret...
although i see it all coming..
i didnt regret..

finally at the end, u still couldnt make up yr mind..
whether u wan or dun wan to be tgt wif me...
i dun mind..
becos at least u have the decency to think tt u couldnt possibly say u wan when u are not sure..
so the other alternative has to be u dun wan..
and we settled for tt...

u said u dun wan to keep me waiting like a fool
seeing how much misery u could have put me through..
but haven i alr gone through tt??
what has to be said has been said..
what has to be done has been done..
no regrets..

right now all i wan to think is tt..
u dun wan
u dun love
u dun care
u cant be bothered...
becos it makes me feel easier.. alot easier to let it go...
also it makes me feel stronger to let go and move on...
because afterall the bottomline is life still goes on..

and this time i learnt alot too..
seeing the differences we have...
seeing how much we have to over come jus to understand..
now i know why some ppl were nv meant to be..
jus like us we were nv meant to be...

he said.. if we were meant to be we eventually will be..
but i nv believed in tt... never..

so what if im a fool, i followed my heart...
and i standby its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

finally... exams period is o-v-e-r..
we all cant fucking wait...
weetss~ play time play time play time..
i love to play...

though i missed PSOM but i fucking dun care... becos i dun mind the retest which gives me ample time to study for the 8 lectures..

for the folks who were worried,
im fine and kicking...
jus a lil easy more tired..
but wif more rest, im back to ass kicking...

i love my baby...
but ive hatched plan A against him...
i hope things work out real fine... =)

and i caught the leap years...
its nice...
really quite romantic and touching...
like awwww....
i bought a bag today too at 13 dollars... and im loving it...
( half price off the bag mind u )

baby is gonna be so busy working the nxt few days..
and im gonna miss him so much... =(

shopping anybody??
girls!!!
lol.. looking for NUDE coloured heels.. [e.g beige]
i love nude....

PA's website is SCREWED... all of them...
whats the point of online forms when they cannot be sumitted..

and are there pills to control hormonal changes..
so that i will not be so cranky, so difficult to deal with when the period comes??!!
it always feels as if the entire world owes me!!!
wtf... i guess all women deserve to feel tt way when it comes to the time of the month!!
priviledge okay... u know how xing ku anot....

y must i feel so cranky all the time...
why must be so weak sensitive and become all soft and crazy..
ew i seriously dun like....

the period sucks big time..
and i haven started on the PSO..
yeah!!

why does this road have to be so especially hard...
im too demanding..
im too sensitive...
im too overboard..
im jus too whatever..

god.. can there be an easier way out...
i dun wan to challenge anymore..
can i surrender for once.. jus this once....
surrender..
wave the white flat..
jus let me be screwed to the max...
let me be trampled upon..
mayb i enjoyed being screwed...
mayb i fucking have no personality...
can i have it my way for once??

please take pity on me..
i promise not to swear for one week...
if u allow me to surrender...

sidetrack
whats faith and trust all about....
when u dun care...

its 3am and i still cant get to slp...
wtf..
paper is at 10am tml...
how ?!?!
bloody hell exams.. zzzz

cant remember since when i start to hate exams..
cant remember since when i start to feel weak and helpless..
i seriously cannot remeber!!!!
when the fuck....

im so going to screw the paper
because it jus seems like i know NUTS about the entire topic..
but when reading through the notes, its like i actually know them...
tell me im fucking screwed and im SOOO gonna fail....

are they exam jitters?
stress?
or signs of PMS...
i seriously dunno!!

seriously WTF!!!

Labels: whats the biggest mistake that humans made

doing PSO now... zzz and i haven ssstttaaarrrttt on my SMK...
god please save me....
how to finish like tt...
and i really feel like going downstairs econ to grab chips to munch on.
i realise i fucking binge eat when it comes to stress!!!
BINGE EAT..

that makes ppl fat....
i dun wan to be fat...
ARGH....
got this super craving for bubbletea...
:(
tortila chips.. yummilicious~~

can we not have exams, stress or projects please...
i miss my boy whos working at the natas fair... =(